**I find it interesting when the store makes an end-cap a one-stop-shop for a dinner idea. Like, here's the buns, the Manwich, the onions, etc... everything you need for dinner right here on these couple of shelves. They got me today. We'll be having a sloppy joe night this week, because I was swayed by the subliminal messages of Shop-and-Save.
** How interesting it is to examine what the people before you in line put on the conveyor belt. Are they a healthy eater?? Do they have a Diet Coke addiction?? Are they single and live on frozen dinners? So interesting to me. The lady behind me had her 2 teenagers with her , a boy and a girl. Overall very healthy, except the *Giant* box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal, which I decided the boy would eat at one sitting.
** Then I get to thinking, "Oh, my gosh, what do my groceries say about me??" That I fill my kids with red food coloring? That I'm making tacos this week? That I was suckered into having sloppy joes?
**I hate it when you can't seem to get away from the same person that you keep criss/crossing up and down the aisles...ya know, the one you keep having to say 'excuse me' to to reach the peanut butter or sugar or whatever.... I've been known to go 2 aisles down and then skip back just to get away from that *same* shopper. Something about that irritates me.
But the main reason for this post is for your thoughts on a situation that we all have seen, but that today really hurt my heart:
Today, while shopping, I came closer than I ever have to getting involved with a stranger's parenting. Let me fill you in on the scene: A younger-ish mom with 2 little girls, one in the seat of the cart and one in the basket (obviously both pretty little, under 4)... The girls were fussing. Not horrible, but noticeable. The younger one was crying on and off. This mom must have told these girls to "Shut Up!" 20 times. This just made it worse. Worse fussing and crying. She never stopped and looked at them, never made any sort of eye contact, she just looked at the shelves and kept saying "Shut Up!" over and over again.
Then she started in threatening them. Now by this time, I was so sick to my stomach. I can't stand to hear children talked to that way. (disclaimer: I am not a saint, nor a perfect mother. I have yelled at my children. And I understand how patience can wear thin.)
I was getting more and more upset as she was saying things like, "I am NOT taking you 2 BRATS to Grandma's now. You are going home." -- to which the older girl said, " But Grandma will cry if we don't come" And mom replied, "So what. You aren't going."
I had deliberately moved right next to them, and was *** this close*** to saying 'something' --- though I'm not sure what --- when she said that she was going to take them out and "Beat their A$$." I walked along, very stalkerish, next to them... looking straight at the mom, hoping that she would look at me, see me paying attention to her and stop the verbal abuse. But she did not.
Then, I just couldn't take it anymore. I didn't know what to do, or not to do. I walked to a completely different area of the store, still able to hear the fussing and the crying.
I don't know why this upset me so much. I've witnessed scenes like this before, and probably even worse. I guess it was that I kept thinking that, if this was how it was in public, how must in be at home.:( I wanted to try to talk to the little girls, just smile and say hi or something. I wanted to pull that mother aside and give her a piece of my mind.... and also my heart broke for her, knowing that she must be so miserable. I wanted to remind her how precious these little ones are, and how she is the most important person in the world to them...
So here are my questions to you: Is there ever a time that it is o.k. to interfer? Is it ever o.k. to say something? Or is it really none of anyone's business?
Have you ever done it? Ever just said, "What do you think you are doing treating your child like that?"
Do you think that anything good can come from it or is it just going to make a bad situation worse? If the child hears you, do you think that maybe they will get some clue that the way they are being treated isn't 'normal' or right?
I am going to pray for that mom and her 2 little girls (Samantha and Alexis) this week. I know that that is the one thing, the only thing, I *can* do that can help.
Just wondering your thoughts -----------------------------------------------------------------
<<-- b/c he's been melting my heart lately:)
3 comments:
I believe you chose the wisest action--prayer. You never know, maybe your closeness in the aisle had some impact that you will never know. It is beautiful that you have a heart for the children, and even the Mom, who could be going through any kind of bad situation. Only God can truly change the Mom's heart, and protect the little ones. But He Can!
Hey, I hope you still have food in the shelves for tonight's supper! It is hard to resist chowing down on all the favorites, when they firt fill the pantry. Especially when you are a hungry, growing school kid, just home from school.
Jonathan looks so much like his Daddy, and has a heart of gold too, so no wonder he melts your heart. The incidents at the supermarket help to remind us of how dear our family is to us. Stay as caring and sweet as you are, and keep on praying. It is the most successful action. Love you bunches! Mom
Tam - I think you and your mom are right. The best course of action is prayer. I hate it when I hear adults tell their children they are going to "blister their a$$!" Verbal abuse is such a vicious cycle. When that is all you have heard, it is so sad! If you had said something to that mom, she may have cussed you out or she may have gone home and taken it out on her girls even more. But standing close and staring at her is good, too. If she was actually hitting them, that is another story. But we can't stop verbal abuse; all we can do is pray. I'm sooo glad our family is not like that, aren't you? Love you!!!! Aunt Linda
Your story about the grocery really hit a chord with me. I saw a mother one time carrying her child by his leg through an airport and the memory still haunts me today. I reported her to the airport security. I later asked a counselor friend of mine what I should have done and he said I could have approached her and said,"Can I help you in any way? You seem frustrated. Do you need help?" I was literally frozen and didn't know what to do. If it makes you feel any better, that mother probably did take the kids to grandma's house because she didn't want to mess with them anymore. Parents like that usually don't follow through with their threats. It's one of the reasons I hate going to Wal-Mart. There's always a crying child and yelling parent. It's so sad that those people are parents. However, we can't change the world and all that is left to do is pray for the children and protect them when we can. Keep praying! Keep having wonderful children yourself that you love and cherish.
Maura Gerard
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