It's been hard to get up the courage to write this, knowing that it makes it all even more real. Yesterday, we lost our sweet Sage. She had started acting 'not-right', especially with her breathing, and very lethargic. The vet said it was a heart tumor and fluid built up all around her heart. It was time to let her go. I can honestly say that I have only had a handful of days in my whole life as hard as yesterday. Such deep sadness and loss. I am so aware of how I deal with it, how I feel scared, vulnerable, shocked, in a daze, how my heart literally hurts inside my chest and my stomach is quesy. It all comes in waves over and over again. I hurt for my children who have lost a faithful friend, protector and playmate. Sagey Pookers was the best dog a family could have. She'll be missed and never, ever forgotten.
I had started a back to school post the other day before all of that happened and was reminded ever so gently that I had yet to post pictures. Jon Carter and Kate started this Wednesday. So far so good. He seems to really like having a male teacher and is glad to be back with his friends despite the obligatory groaning about starting back to school. Kate is a different story. I wish they all could have her excitement and happiness about school. I know it's just pre-K a few mornings a week, but she's in heaven!! New friends, singing, art, playing, snack in the cafeteria. Big stuff. She's more than ready for it and it's a good precursor to full day K. next fall. Hannah will start on Monday. Big change in store for her as she starts at the school where her dad teaches. Thankfully she has already gotten to know a big group of girls and that has helped in her looking forward to changing schools. Be looking for more pictures early in the week ;)
Seems like everything is changing at once. Do you ever just want it all to stop??? Want time to stand still??
The greatest song writer of our time -- John Mayer -- has written a song that says it all so well about change, time and accepting where you are in your life right now. It's one of my favorites -- thought I'd share with you :
(portion of Stop this Train)
Come on stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can but honestly won't someone stop this train
So afraid of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to find away to say that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said help me understand
He said turn 68, you'll renegotiate
Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
Don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train
See once in a while when it's good
It'll feel like it should
When you're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing so you cry when you're driving away in the dark.
Singing stop this train I want to get out and go home again
I can't take this speed it's moving in
I know I can
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train
4 comments:
They say the only constant in life is change. I don't like it much myself. Particulary when it's accompanied by sadness. Hang in there my sweet, sweet friend. Think about the cherished times you've had and are having. Kate is so darling and I LOVE her exuberance for everything. Great back to school photos-love the first one 'cause it's different and the last one because of the light. Love the Eckstein lunchbox and the doggie tee. Love you all. Okay-you know I'm cryin'-gotta stop THAT train. ;)
I'm so sorry to hear about Sage. We loved her instantly when we visited all of you. I don't think I can tell Maddy about it just yet. She really enjoyed her.
So glad school started off well. That's a good thing. I bet Kate is right in her "element" meeting new friends and all.
God is faithful through it all and everything that goes on in our lives. That's one we can count on to never change -- ptl for that! Love all of you! Talk to you soon. Jacki
Sweet Sagey will be truly missed. I didn't like being at your house this weekend without her sitting next to me...no make that on top of me! Such a sweet puppy...she'll always be remembered. Loved the back-to-school pics...so grown up they are! I'll be thinking of you Monday...everything happens for a reason. Love you.
amy
Times of Change are usually difficult. Sage will surely be missed and fondly remembered, and the kids will have funny tales to tell of "remember when.." for many years. You sure did take some sweet shots of the "back-to-school" morning. Jonathan is looking cool and growing up and Kate is ready to expand her socializing and creativity. I know Hannah will also do great at WildWood--perfect timing for her to meet new friends and begin a more advanced study. You all are such blessings to us. The changes will soon be seen as steps to God's next plan for your lives. And He always has our best in mind.
You all are loved more than you can know. Love Always, Mom & Leon
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